


The Sound of a Lily Freezing And Breaking

by EmbryonicHarmonic



Category: Gundam 00
Genre: Drabbles, Gundam 00 Week, Other, Shiny Setsuna, broken Setsuna noises
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-13 22:09:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10522896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmbryonicHarmonic/pseuds/EmbryonicHarmonic
Summary: A series of drabbles of Setsuna’s transformation from a human to an Innovator, and then to an ELS hybrid. Fear. Rejection. Confusion. Loneliness. There is only his experience, and his own thoughts.





	1. Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Done for Gundam 00 week 2017

He is alone when he sees it. 

He has been alone for a long time. The Quan[T] has a voice, but it has grown so quiet. Tieria doesn’t speak to him anymore. There is only this… nothingness. 

It’s simple, a patch of silver on his skin. 

It wasn’t there before. It wasn’t there when he closed his eyes, but it seems that each time he looks, it is a little larger. Time isn’t passing right, he knows it. Time is just… different. He doesn’t feel the pull of it on his skin and bones. Time is time, and he feels as though something is wrong. 

It is simple, just silver. 

He opens his eyes and sees the sun. 

Setsuna feels colder. There’s no warmth on his skin, but he feels more alive with the sun. The silver is crawling over his arms, and the sensation hurts. He knows he is changing, and he knows that some part of him wants it. Needs it. It feels like chains are breaking on his body and he is pulling free of who he used to be. But at the same time, it feels as though he is drifting away from what he knows. No ELS knows what he is. No machine can tell him what is happening. There is no one he can ask.

It feels like before. There was no Innovator he could ask. No one he could turn to and beg for answers. Now he is the same, reaching, grasping for answers and no one can give them to him. 

The silver covers half of his face and it hurts. 

He can’t remember when he ate last, and he’s seen water seep into his skin and make him feel more awake. He doesn’t feel anything. No hunger. No thirst. No… anything.

He’s afraid. As the last of the silver crawls over him, and his eyes no longer are rust-colored, he is afraid. 

He shouts at the starlight. He screams to the Quan[T].

_What am I?_

_**What am I?!** _

No one answers him. 


	2. Duality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2nd prompt for 00 Week, and Setsuna's first foray into space alone.

The first time he leaves the surface, without the aid of a mobile suit, he realizes how alone he is. 

There is only the infinite blackness dotted by stars. It causes a fear in him, a shaking, trembling horror that he can’t describe in words. It is horrific. It is terrifying. It is a thousand things at once.

He stays inside the Quan[T] for a week. 

It is only her voice, and her words are so kind. 

She isn’t like the Exia, who had pulled him from the depths and it had been them against the world. Angry, bitter, yelling at the stars and seeing who answered back.

She isn’t like the 00, who had told him so many times that it would be okay. Soft. Kind. But so distant and cold.

She is the Quan[T], and her voice is the same as storms. 

She says many things to him, things that assure him, remind him that beneath the silver skin and shining eyes, he is still himself. He is still Setsuna F. Seiei. He is a moment in eternity. She is a guiding force. She is why he is here, because he was strong enough, he was bold enough, he was everything that could and did. He is alive because he looked upon a shining light. Because he crossed the worst of the world. 

He is alive because of her, and all who came before her. 

She says that there is no part of the infinite, no part of the vastness of space, that can destroy him, because he is alive. Because even though his body has changed, his heart has not. 

The second time he leaves the surface, his mind is quiet. 

His heart still hammers in his chest and his body shines like a star.

But his mind is quiet, and some small part of him feels at peace.


	3. Third Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a long journey home.

It is the third star to the right.

He knows it, he sees it in the sky.

He's told the transformation is complete, but he feels broken. He feels fractured. He doesn't feel whole, and there is no part of him that can fix that. He isn't human, and there is no one to tell him what to expect. 

Setsuna stares out at an unfamiliar sky, knowing that one day he has to go home. 

It scares him.

No one will recognize him. He won't be remembered. He will be nothing. But maybe he never wanted to be recognized. But what if they do recognize him? What if they are afraid of him and who he is? What if he is a monster to them? What if... 

There are so many 'what ifs' that he loses sight of the star, and he falls out of the sky. 

When Setsuna opens his eyes, he sees the stars.

It's the third star to the right. 

He stopped eating. He only needs water. He only needs sunlight. He stopped feeling warmth. He stopped doing so many things. He feels so wrong. He looks at his reflection sometimes, the silver skin and shining eyes, and he feels wrong. There is no way to fix this, the transformation has happened. He can't talk to someone and know what he should do or should be. 

He looks at the sky and knows that day that he has to go home.

It scares him. 

That third star is home, but he is afraid to go back.


	4. Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setsuna learns that he has become more than just an ELS-Innovator. He is something worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a year of me not doing fucking anything, I'm going to finish this. Or try my hardest to.

Setsuna opens his eyes and he sees nothing.

Not Earth. Not the stars.

He sees nothingness.

His heart beats so loudly in his ears that he isn’t sure if it is truly silence around him or if it is his own fear and anxiety. He is on the edge of everything, on the very tip of being swallowed whole by the beasts that lurk among the stars.

He wonders how he did not see all of this before.

And he wonders when the eyes opened to stare down at him.

He has never felt so small. He has never felt so insignificant. But he stares at them, at the numerous eyes that open, all starting to stare down at him and he cannot count them all.

He feels so afraid.

There is no Gundam around him. There is no barrier between him and the things he sees. Greater than the ELS. Greater than him. Greater than anything he has ever seen, greater than everything.

But…

But as the cold seeps deeply into him, Setsuna is very aware that he is one of these beasts now.

He has become the darkness that lurks between the stars. He is part of the silence at the end of all things. He has stopped being human, fully and completely. Human in shape. But he is a monster. 

He has never stopped being a monster. 

Setsuna opens his eyes and sees Earth beneath him, his hands still on the controls of the Quan[T] and he has never felt so cold. 

And for a long time, he simply stares down at the endless blue.


End file.
